Showing posts with label Human Interest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Human Interest. Show all posts

Tuesday, 5 June 2018

Dear Black People Part III: White South Africans Pose Burning Questions to Blacks

How and Why do they do that?

There are questions that many of us wish we had answers to regarding certain behaviours predominant among members of a given race.

For the first time, white South Africans had a chance to ask their fellow blacks anything - and here are their most disturbing Questions:

Disclosure: Nothing Racist. Simply Hilarious. 
Image: Stockunlimited.com
BLACK DON’T CRACK?
Okay this one is for the ladies, what god damn fountain of youth do you drink from? No seriously, how do you have such incredible skin, virtually pimple free and you don’t age until you get 60.  I met a 55 year old yesterday, she looked 30.  Every time I see an anti-aging ad with one other a white person I call b******t.

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Notorious BIG’s 10 Crack Commandments and it’s Relevance to Running a Business Empire

Being a kid with a bunch of older siblings, EVERYTHING I listened to (musically) was picked, borrowed or stolen from my brothers and sisters.  

Turned out none was a Notorious BIG (Christopher Wallace) fan.  Ours was a 2Pac household. 
Years later, I’d discover Notorious BIG and man, wasn’t he talented?  I still love 2Pac’s music, for he was such a talented visionary genius with messages so deep you’d  wish the man could could run for office.

However, Notorious BIG, in my view, was the guy who could make you forget your problems and get loose.  But not with 10 Crack Commandments.

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

Dear Black People Part II: White South Africans Pose Burning Questions to Blacks

How and Why do they do that?

There are questions that many of us wish we had answers to regarding certain behaviours predominant among members of a given race.

For the first time, white South Africans had a chance to ask their fellow blacks anything - and here are their most disturbing Questions:

Disclosure: Nothing Racist. Simply Hilarious.
Image: Stockunlimited.com
WATER ALLERGY:
Why do black people never get into the pool at a pool-party?

Monday, 14 May 2018

Dear Black People Part I: White South Africans Pose Burning Questions to Blacks

How and Why do they do that?

There are questions that many of us wish we had answers to regarding certain behaviours predominant among members of a given race.


For the first time, white South Africans had a chance to ask their fellow blacks anything - and here are their most disturbing Questions:

Disclosure: Nothing Racist. Simply Hilarious.
Image: Stockunlimited.com
HAIR:
Why do y’all hate your natural hair so much?  You pay hundreds of Rands for weaves and s**t when you’ve got these natural curls that are so gorgeous?

Black girls who wear weaves come into the gym looking good as ever and just before their training session, remove the weave and have these untidy plaits, why do you do this?  It’s disturbing!

Monday, 23 October 2017

JUST GRADUATED: This's How Not to Tarmac

October, November, December - the months every fourth year University student looks forward to.  It’s a rare time when they finally get to wear those special Grim Reaper outfits and be honoured with the power to Read and Write.  Afterwards is an after-party and the much anticipation of taking over the corporate world.

Like our lecturers used to tell us, ‘we’re not training you to be reporters or cameramen/women.  We’re making editors, producers and directors out of you.’

Monday, 18 September 2017

HOW SONKO's RUSH DE-CONGESTION PLAN IS TURNING NAIROBI INTO A CITY FOR THE RICH

On Aug 8th, masses of Nairobians came out to push out the Kidero mini-government and vote in the real man of the people, the man who fully understands their problems, the real hustler; Mike 'Sonko' - or so they thought.
Image: Nation.co.ke
With less than 30 days in office, the once beloved Nairobi senator; now governor, has played a Judas on the majority of people who voted him in by rendering them outcasts to the Big City.  Starting Wednesday 20th, all PSV (Public Service Vehicles) will be prohibited from accessing the CBD (Central Business District).  Entry to the CBD only belongs to guys with deep pockets, ones who drive personal cars.  A neo-kipande system it seems.


Anyone with a working mind will tell you that this is the stupidest decision ever made/proposed considering that an average PSV transports 50+ people whereas a personal car normally has one person.

Friday, 30 June 2017

Kenya's Plastic Nightmare & Fantasy vs Reality

August is near, and every Kenyan is panicking,

C’mon, this isn’t about the elections.
Remember the notice that was gazetted back in March stating that, starting August 28th, Kenya will go plastic bags free?

We’re now only a month away from it’s execution.
Image: http://www.yourtrainingedge.com
Turns out you are fed up with drainage systems getting blocked every time it rains leading to unnecessary floods, the millions of non-biogradable waste piling up at Dandora dump site, the hundreds of paper bags piling up at the bottom drawer of your kitchen cabinet, your constant hospitalizations from malaria disease…  I guess that’s why you went as far as signing that Avaaz Petition that drew  thousands of signatures.

And now, you can’t wait to see and be a part of a cleaner and greener future, or so you think.


Tuesday, 6 June 2017

WHY ENVYING & LIVING THE 'KENYAN LIFESTYLE' IS SO PATHETIC

Good job (whatever the heck that means), a car, a ka-shamba in shags, a storied retirement house in that ka-shamba, a good spouse and, a side-hustle to bring in petty cash every now and then.

And that ladies and gentlemen are the two sentences that best sum up the very coveted Kenyan lifestyle every one of us is brought up to make happen.

So what does it take to realize this dream?
Image: www.cindbob.info
1930’s:

Friday, 19 May 2017

9 VICES WE INSTALL IN YOUNG GIRLS THAT SCREWS WITH THEIR MULIEBRITY

Ever conversed with a grown-ass woman and was left wondering; How thick can she be? Is this how all women are like? Isn’t she a definite shame to all women?

I have to confess, some of the things that come out of our mouths are painful to listen to.  But hey, before you start flaunting your egotistical self, how about we start from the beginning -  when you unconsciously turned a superbly intelligent girl into a worthless, naive and senseless woman by making her believe these myths?
Image: www.clipartfest.com
1. THERE IS ONLY 1 MAN FOR EVERY 3 WOMEN, SO YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO SHARE:
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard both men and women use this line.  Such are the statements that ‘force’ girls to be okay with the idea of being second or third wives or mistresses because, no matter what they do or how they do it, they’ll never be enough men to marry all of them.

The FACT is, the entire world’s population ratio of men to women is 101 males to 100 females.  In Kenya, the ratio is the same (101:100) up to the age of 65 when it drops slightly to 84:100.

Monday, 13 February 2017

THRILL OF A LIFETIME - Water Rafting at the Sagana

Raging waters, dangerous water animals, probable drowning, wild animals roaming freely into your tent in the dead of the night…  If these are the kinds of things that gets you thrilled, you definitely need to give a shot at water sporting events, or, to be more specific, white water rafting.

Thursday, 26 January 2017

5 Unspoken Gentlemanly Acts that Proves He's a Great Guy

In this Century, the toughest decision every grown up man has to make is find the right woman to pop the ‘Will you marry me’ question to.  And, to a woman, it’s finding one she can without hesitation say ‘Yes’ to.
Image: www.mrvolpato.com
When you’re a man, you’ll constantly be torn in between the same old cliche thinking that she could be after your wealth.  No different for women - the thought that he could be after whatever in your panties is undismissable.

But, starting today, if you’re a woman, there are ways through which you can tell, in advance, if he’s a good guy or not:

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Lake Naivasha, Lake Oloiden and The Crater Lake's Magical Sights & Moments

Before I get too old, money becomes too scarce, time becomes too limited and excuses start pilling up, I’ve decided to spare one weekend per month to explore the beauties of Kenya.  On 30th October, I started with the famous Naivasha coz, as you probably already know, Naivasha is the home of endless wonders.

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

9 Genius Shopping Ideas to Keep you Afloat Even when the Going's Tough

A couple of years back, I made the worst but also the best mistake of my life - I quit my job. Saying that I hit rock bottom would be an understatement. You have no idea how hard it is to constantly worry about where your next meal is going to come from, if the landlady is going to kick you out, if that stomach-ache is another episode of monthly cramps, ulcers or hunger… But if there's one - well, a couple of things that macabre experience taught me, is how to be an economic genius.
Image: CheapOnlineShopping.Selagi.Com
 Experience has taught me that the cost of living will always be on the rise; irrespective of how much you make. And so, to help you navigate and make life less harder, you need to embrace a couple of smart economic tips:

Thursday, 17 December 2015

From Women: NO, WE DON'T HATE EACH OTHER. WE JUST HATE OURSELVES

I've heard this phrase so many times that I'm now on the verge of believing it to be true. Women are their own worst enemies. Personally, I don't care about archaic statements that strive to make me and/or others who identify with my gender become suspicious of themselves; because all they're after is sowing seeds of self-doubt, hatred and jealousy in every woman's mind and heart. But here's something that's true. We (though I don't fall in this category), know best how to hate on and look down on ourselves.
My conclusions were drawn after carefully watching, listening and analyzing women behavior in general. Like I have never understood why women laugh at jokes that demean them. Why women find nascent comedians who crack gender-insensitive jokes funny. Why they freely choose to identify with terms and phrases -like bitch, ratchet, gold digger or slut- that look down on them. Why they find it more than okay to like and share immature jokes that make fun of them...

These are just a couple of 'jokes' I've witnessed females share, laugh at and identify with…

Wednesday, 30 September 2015

SPEAKING OF ROMANCE - Kenyan Couples Discuss their Partners' Most Romantic Gestures

It's no news that Kenyan men, and their women, are regarded among the world's least romantic people. Interestingly, that's an allegation that's best backed by jilted exes, bachelors and bachelorettes who don't know a thing about what it takes to maintain a good, strong and exciting relationship.
Image: Spfcanyon.com
For the first time ever, I let real couples in real relationships weigh in on this matter - tell us the most romantic thing their partners have ever done and, what in their view is the most romantic gesture they have ever showed to their partners. Check out their responses:

Monday, 28 September 2015

KENYAN TEACHERS STRIKE & My 6 Almost Absurd Reasons Why Their Salaries Should be Increased

Would you believe me if I told you that at a mere age of six, I was more than sure of what my dream job would be - become a primary school teacher! My obsession with this job was born after I attended Mrs. Thathi's retirement party. (She was one of my favorite teachers and having seeing the many presents she received, all I could think of were the fridges, cookers and TV sets I would receive - 55 years later).
Image: Teachersolidarity.com
That changed as soon as encountered new teachers. In Class Three I changed classes because Mr. Kariuki was too mean for me to handle, in Class Six I had Mr. Njagi K make fun of my performance because I had 94 percent in Maths and 30 percent in ACHM (Art & Craft, Home Science and Music), in Class Seven I had Miss Ngondi give me a 10 in Insha because I was 'mjeuri', in Class Eight the principal slapped me real hard for declining his help in choosing my dream high school, in Form 2 I had Mrs. Mwea make me weed all the flower beds in the school for listening to music in class - (on a Saturday), in Campus the dean of students summoned me in her office for 'dressing improperly…

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Rongai's Gem - Tightrope Walking / High Ropes Challenge at AIC Diguna

In this country, there exist five kinds of people; 

1. The ones who spend their weekends/holidays watching pirated movies & TV series
2. Ones who spend hours playing video games and crushing candies on Candy Crush
3. Ones who spend the whole day doing laundry and cleaning the house
4. Ones who party all night and sleep all day and,
5. One's who love the outdoors.
If you fall under the fifth/last category, I bet that you'll fall in love with this gem in Rongai - Diguna Tightrope Walking cum High Ropes Challenge.

Thursday, 6 August 2015

FOREVER YOUNG - 9 TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK YOUNGER

If humans had the means, they would devise a technology that would alter their growth at a certain age…you know like the IN TIME movie.
As we impatiently wait for someone to make this innovation, the best we can do is rely on either cosmetic surgery (which is far too expensive and leaves people looking more ridiculous than young) or, embrace my tips:

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

MY #HELB NIGHTMARE

29th December 2014
First things first, there's this one thing that you should know about me: I am the Queen of Save.

  • I have hundreds of branded shopping bags in my house - from Maguna Andu to Nakumatt's
  • I never throw away food - I'd rather have food poisoning than throw away a basic human need
  • I'm a strict spender - except when it has to do with shoes, trench coats and bags
  • I never wait on anyone or anything - time's a wasting.
That's why last December, I choose to travel back home after the matatus had stopped taking advantage of Kenyans. Would you believe that I paid KSh. 300 from Nairobi to Embu when folks who travelled two days prior paid KSh. 1,000?
So here I was, happy that I was finally home, but sad that I had to put my hustles on hold - partial hold. Part of partially keeping up with my hustle was to visit Posta Kenya. Similarly to most Kenyan Postal offices, the Embu office had had an upgrade; they now have a Huduma Centre. Being the festive season, most of their staff seemed bored to death as there was barely anyone to be served. Of all the KRA, NSSF and NHIF guys, the one who stood out the most, or rather stole my attention was the HELB guy.

Has nothing to do with his looks.

I HATE HELB. It's that simple.

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

She's Madly in Love with Me - INTRODUCING MY FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW

A while back I posted something lovey-dovey on my Facebook page and a close friend dared comment, 'I didn't know you have a heart' Err, of course I have a heart! The only reason why so many people don't get to pierce a Cupid's arrow through it is because it's surrounded by walls as high as the ones Nehemiah built around Jerusalem.

You know who's too timid to climb over such a wall? A man. But the one person who doesn't mind climbing over it is a man's mother cum my future mother in law.

It all started a few months back, when this lady whose shop I frequent started the 'Niko na kijana' conversation.
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