Showing posts with label Info-tainment Kenya. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Info-tainment Kenya. Show all posts

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

What is it About Older Men That Turns On Young Girls

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
---1st Corinthians 13
Morgan Freeman with his alleged fiancee cum step-granddaughter 

Friday, 18 January 2013

Are all West Africans Thieves?

I don't know much about thieves and con-artistes but, if there would be a home for all these sorts of people  then, it would be nowhere else other than in West Africa.  For a while I assumed only men in those countries had the talent but after I got this e-mail on my Facebook account, I've to give it up  to them.

The e-mail reads;

"I'm interested on you.  My name is Angela, I am a beautiful young girl with full of love.  Well, I saw your profile today which gives me the joy to contact you.  I will like us to be friends.  Please I will like you to contact me through my email or you send me your e-mail address so I can contact you by myself.  At the same time, I will show you my picture."

I have no idea what made this girl assume that I am a lesbian looking for love from the Oga I really look or behave like a lesbian?

This 'beautiful young woman' I've learnt has been in the con-industry scene for a while.  She goes by the names Angela, Sandra, Miss Young, Maria, Susan, Becky, et al.

If she is not from Liberia, then she is from Ivory Coast, Senegal or any of those other West African countries apparently residing in a refugee camp.

Similar girls from West Africa have been pulling these stunts on un-suspicious victims, especially among those in need of love---the very old and lonely white men.  Before you get caught unawares, click here and check out other Angelas and Sandras before you too get in their traps.

Monday, 14 January 2013

Short Hair or Long Hair?

Short hair or Long hair?  This is a question that we'll never get enough of.

As a black woman who loves her hair, having had to struggle so much to make it grow into at least a  tiny bun, long hair will forever be coveted.  But the truth of the matter is, no matter how many people say that the external beauty of a woman lies in her hair, short hair will always rule the day.

Personally I don't think that I look any good with short hair but as it appears, everyone else does.  Just take a look:

Patricia Kihoro

Sunday, 13 January 2013

Kim Kardashian Pregnant? What if She Miscarries?

First of all, my deepest apologies for saturating you with more Kim Kardashian News.  But actually, this isn't just about the beautiful and hippy woman who stole the heart of our most hated black brother, but, it got to do with her pregnancy.

The couple has apparently announced the good news that they are expecting a baby, and the world is glamourising it like though she is the first woman to ever get pregnant.  Well, isn't the future Queen of England Kate Middleton also pregnant?  And so Kim is bound to make over $250,000 from documenting her pregnancy!  And maybe over $3 Million on baby pictures!

But it's like our wahengas said, 'Do not count your eggs before they hatch.'

Why I'm I saying that?

This being her first pregnancy, there is a very high likelihood that she may miscarry.  Among all women, there is a 25% likelihood for their first pregnancy to end up as a miscarriage.  I therefore feel that Kim and Kanye are risking their tears a great deal...  If she ends up miscarrying, don't call me a witch.  

Simply take a look at these real life happenings:
  • You all know that Beyonce miscarriaged during her first pregnancy before giving birth to Blue Ivy.
  • Mariah Carey on the other hand had a miscarriage before she finally gave birth to the twins.
  • Whitney Houston too miscarriaged a year before she gave birth to Bobby Kristina.
  • Other well known celebrities who had had miscarriages before eventually carrying the pregnancy to a full term include Oprah, Pink, Celine Dion, Courtney Cox, Sharon Stone, Lisa Marie Presley, Nicole Kidman and our very own Winnie Thuku-Craig...among so many others.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Homosexuality is The New Normal

Are you following me on Twitter?  I always follow back...  My handle is @Jackielyna

So a few days back I tweeted about how I'm looking forward to the day I'll watch a gay Soap Opera on TV.

It didn't take long before I found one...and watched it!  It goes by the name THE NEW NORMAL.  The Internet however refers it as a comedy, which its definitely not----unless if you perceive gayism(sic) and homosexuality as being funny.

The New Normal revolves around the lives of David and Bryan, a gay couple who are desperately in need of becoming fathers.  In their quest of finding the ideal surrogate, the meet the 25 year old Goldie who is willing to do anything, including helping the couple, so long as she gets some cash to start a new and better life for herself and her 9 year daughter.  Yes, she comes from a family of teenage mothers; from her grandmother, to her mother, to herself, and now to the 9 year old Shania who's already having her way with boys.

I have nothing against gays, or lesbians---but I don't support them either.   Thanks to India Arie's song Gift of Acceptance, I have come to honour people's weird behaviours for the sake of getting along, coz personally I know that I too got some intolerable queerness in my system.

However, I have to say that this whole homosexuality being The New Normal is totally gross!  It nauseating to watch a gay couple together in bed, touching, kissing, flirting---extremely gross!

The New Normal is produced by Ryan Murphy who actually based the whole story  on his personal life.  He's a gay and together with his partner; a David, they did welcome a baby boy late last year through a surrogate.  His fellow producer Allison Adler is a lesbian.

If you haven't had the time to watch a gross production yet, this is it!

Friday, 4 January 2013

Planning on Getting Married?

In life, there are three very important stages in a person; Birth, Wedding and Death.  As per the mother nature's laws, you are only allowed to celebrate only one of these celebrations---weddings.  

Thursday, 3 January 2013

KSh. 300,000 Fine for Not Registering Your SimCard?

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me.  If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them.  I am free because I know that I alone I'm morally responsible for everything I do."
---Robert A. Heinlein

Did you know, that the Kenyan law is the most manipulative law in the entire world.  Everytime something goes amiss, instead of amending or repealing that law, the lawmakers use coercion or threats to get the civilians back on tract.

We are already used to the teachers and lecturers going on strikes.  Anytime that happens, instead of the respective minister bringing back order, he threatens to sack them all.  The same has always applied to striking ministers, nurses, and indeed in all spheres of life.

Back in high school when we almost organised a successful strike after having had more than enough of a dictatorial and feministic(sic) headmistress, instead of her sitting down with us and addressing us, she expelled us all from school!

And now having been taken back to the drawing board, the Kenyan lawmakers are threatening us once more that if we own a non-registered sim-card, we are at risk of being fined KSh. 300,000 or a 3 years life behind bars.  

Of all the laws that I have ever come across, this is the dumbest.  It's like telling a young girl that if she is raped and fails to report the matter, she faces a fine or life imprisonment.

Personally, I am yet to register my sim-card.  Maybe I'm just but trying to test these lawmakers....  Or it could be that I am waiting to be switched off.  

Instead of this dumb law persecuting the offenders (me), they should instead persecute the masterminds (Safaricom, Airtel, Yu and Orange networks) for continuing to fund and protect us

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

2012 Was all About Beer, Wine, Getting High and Having Fun...

Everytime something good and new makes a HIT in Kenya, two to three months down the line, just like in China, If Kenyans don't HATE on it, they CLONE it.

This is exactly what happened to the Blankets and Wine Thing.  If I am not wrong, it was the first big Festival that hit Kenya and look at the city now...we already got more than enough clones in business.  Competition is most definitely a good thing, especially when it's healthy and it's able to thrive much better in the business and outdo the Pioneer.

2012 saw us go, witness and express different festivities that a lot of drinking going on.  The arts & BEER festival, the Blankets & WINE festival, the cheese & WINE festival, pizza & WINE festival and the WINE & BEER festival.

Arts and Beer

Blankets and Wine
Cheese and Wine
Wine and Beer

Pizza and Wine
One thing that I've noted from these events is that we have a lot mixed raced couples and kids all over the trend.  Could that be the trend?

Which festival do you like the best?

Monday, 31 December 2012

New Year's Resolutions: 13 Things to Bring to 2013

I was just walking 2012 to the door when I heard a knock and there standing in front of me was 2013.  Looking behind me to kiss 2012 adieu, she had left!

Sunday, 30 December 2012

How I Met Your Mother

In the scale of 1 to 10, I give How I Met Your Mother a Big 9.  

I mean, don't we all want to know the truth story behind your parent's first meeting, especially if it is as funny, weird and adventures as the lives of Lilly, Marshall, Ted, Robin and my all time favorite Barney (Neil Patrick Harris).

(Bad news is, in real life, Barney is Gay)
My Best Conversation:
(In a bar)

Blonde chic:
 Wow, you have enormous penis syndrome?  I have never heard of that.

Barney:  Yeah, that's the problem with EPS-lack of awareness.  That's why I'm organising a 10K fun run.  Of course many of us will need wheelbarrows.

Blonde chic:  You are so brave.

Barney:  And you are so understanding.  Most people just stare at me like I'm some kind of freaking reinforced underwear...


Saturday, 29 December 2012

For the People of Embu, Death is the Only Lesson

I said it before and I will say it again; nowhere else in this country can you find as bad matatus'  as those driven, operated and run by Embians.

Being from there, you have no idea how hard it is to find an alternative mode of transport.  But I somehow discovered a secret to travelling, especially for long distance journeys.  (You are free to borrow this).

Never travel in a vehicle whose last stop is the place you are travelling to.  It's always wiser to travel in a bus that goes a distant much further away from where you intend to be dropped at.

I learnt the hard way.  Got into a matatu whose last drop was supposed to be in Embu but lo, the first passenger dropped at Thika!  What happens is, whenever there is an empty seat, the matatu has to always stop by at every other bus stop and fill in the empty seat.  As a result, a journey that is supposed to take at most 2 hours takes at least 4 hours.

Having learnt a lesson, I started travelling with matatus' going as far as Meru so that I would be the first one to alight.

This Festive season was however a miss for me.  Prices had been hiked as hell and there's no way I could use my hard earned money on a matatu that was charging almost the same amount I spent on my rent!  At that instance I swallowed my pride and chose to relieve the tough and stressful memories of travelling in an Embu vehicle.

I tell you, that's not even close to a nightmare.  It was horrible.  

No. 1, the fares are unbelievable.

Radio Queens that Young Women Look Up To

There is this one game that kids of today as well as Psychologists and Investigators like playing.  They mention a word and you are supposed to say out loud the first word that comes to your mind.

Let's assume that the word is Radio:

First word that comes to mind is; Kiss, Classic, Easy...or...Carol Mutoko, Cess Mutungi...

Though there may be a hundred of top radio hosts in the country, there definitely are just but a few role models that young girls can look up to.  So, who are they?  Just take a look.

Angela Agwenyi
Rachel Muthoni-Homeboyz Radio
Chao Tolle-Capital FM
Ciku Muiruri-Classic 105
Adelle Onyango-One FM
Kalekye Mumo-Kiss 100
In case you are wondering why some of the very prominent names are missing here, well, it's because those names are not inspirational enough.  The above radio queens are most definitely non-scandalous and non-drama queens.

Friday, 28 December 2012

Kenya's First Ever Family Court

Over the last few years and months, Kenyans have been gradually been adopting a new and weird wave of either suing or killing their parents/relations.  Pioneered by the sassy ex-KTN news-anchor Esther Arunga, and later followed by the likes of Dennis Oliech's family and the late Samuel Oliech's family among many others, isn't it time that CJ Willy Mutunga proposed for the opening of Family Courts?

Of course there are those of us who blame such acts of taking each other's relations to courts of law as an act that's being influenced by the Western culture.  However, I believe that it's already time that we stopped blaming everything on another Continent and instead take responsibility for our own actions.

Watching Judge Penny Brown's Family Court on KBC TV (Mondays from 9.50 p.m), I can tell that this for sure is a court that this country should have, or should be working towards having.  

Though a couple of people whom I have talked to seem to be highly against the idea of family courts, isn't it in it's own right much better than sharing your family's dirty linen with your pastors, members of the congregation or even the entire bar.  And we all have to agree that  at one time or another, we've had that urge to sue our parents, siblings or even other relatives.

If you want to know what I am talking about, then make sure that you stay tuned to KBC TV every Monday and watch as families strangle each other before the Judge.

Thursday, 27 December 2012

THE NIGHT: An All White Themed Smirnoff New Year Party

Do you have a plan to usher in the new year? 

Well, the Carnivore Restaurant, Smirnoff Vodka and the True Blaq Entertainment will this month take Nairobi by storm on the new year's eve at the Carnivore Restaurant.  To usher in the New Year, the Three will be throwing the biggest party/experience the city has ever seen.  

Dubbed 'THE NIGHT', the experience will be an all-white themed party featuring a line-up of 16 DJs playing on 3 stages in what promises to be the biggest New Year’s Eve party the city has ever seen. 

Leading the DJ pack will be international DJs Shaun ‘Banger’ Scott from the U.K. and Dino Bravo from South Africa.  Representing Kenya will be the cream of Kenya’s DJs including established names like DJ Joe Mfalme, Chukie, Kaydee, et al.

“We know that young people love a good party, so what we’re promising to deliver is not just a good party, but a great experience. We want to show the world that nobody has a party like Smirnoff and Nairobi combined!”
---Kate Katisya 

Revelers will be required to dress in all-white to represent the purity what Smirnoff vodka is known for.  
Tickets are available at all Carnivore outlets at Ksh. 600 for advance tickets. Entrance at the gate will be Ksh. 800

Sunday, 23 December 2012

The Apocalypse Did Happen, But You and I Were Left Behind

While a majority of you made  speculations on how the world was coming to an end, I paid no attention to the hearsay since deep down, I still believe that no one knows the day, nor the hour when the world will come to an end.

After all, how can the world come to an end when we are yet to experience the Rapture?

Talking of Rapture, I just finished  reading LEFT BEHIND; a book by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins about the end times, the rapture and the rise of the Anti-christ.  

This I must say is a must read, regardless of whether you are a Christian, Hindu, Muslim or Atheist.  
I know that many of us have already watched the movie but, if you don't know it yet, let me reveal it to you...

There is nothing as fulfilling as directing your own movie with the characters and scenes you read from a book.  All the other movies capture at most 40% of what is in the book!  Get the picture?

Unlike the Mayan myths, the Rapture will take place on a day and a time that no one is aware of, and can never be predicted.  As it is in Left Behind, as Rayford (a pilot) is and a 200+ is airborne, several passengers go missing.  He's left wondering what to do:  He can't land with a number of his crew missing neither can he stay airborne forever.

He later learns that several people have gone missing, including his very religious wife and son, and he's left behind with his daughter Chloe who is currently in the University.

As they start unraveling this mystery and understanding the real reason behind the disappearances, they meet with Bruce, a junior pastor who was left behind after the disappearance of his entire family and Buck, a young award-winning journalist who doesn't believe in God, and whose almost entire family was left behind.  Together, they form the Tribulation Force.

So then, who is the Anti-christ?

No, it's not Obama as it has been speculated, neither is it Beyonce's and Jay-Z's daughter Blue Ivy.  It is some guy from Romania who rose up from a simple leadership position to becoming the President and later, the UN Secretary General.  His promise is to unite the world and let peace prevail...
(Assuming that 21st was indeed the Apocalypse, and that the Rapture did take place...then, it must be that the two of us; You and I have been Left Behind)

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Friday, 21 December 2012

Asafa Powell Makes His Debut as an Agony Uncle

Early this week on Monday, the famous 100m Jamaican sprinter made his debut as an agony uncle on his weekly column, Ask Asafa on the Jamaican Observer Newspaper. Ask Asafa has received a lot acclamation not just from the Jamaican readers but also from his ardent supporters who term his as being very funny, down to earth and candid.

Here is his first column:

Top 10 Worst Christmas Gifts for Men---Here's What to Get Him This Christmas

10. Anything that sings or plays music when you open it, squeeze it or touch it, including Christmas cards.  This one speaks for itself.

9.  What you want him to get you.  What do I mean?  The things that are really on your wish list, like framed pictures of the two of you, 'I love you' images with hearts, poetry, gift baskets filled with fruits, chocolates and sparkling cider, and of course, a stuffed animal holding a heart.  Anything that proves that you're the cutest couple ever is off-bounds.

8.  Nothing related to his hobby.  I know you think this is a good idea but it isn't.  Whatever you're going to get him he probably has the best one already or a lot of them.  He'll ask you if you he needs it.

7.  As seen on TV, no Slap Chops, matching Snuggies, George Foreman Grills, Ab Belts or any workout DVDs including P90X and Insanity.

6.  Stationery with his initials.  We don't like writing and buying it won't get you a love letter.  Just save and get an iPad Mini, he'll FaceTime you.

5.  Scented things.  Keep the strawberry candles and scented lotions for yourself.  We don't really care if your place smells 'delicious'.

4.  Gym membership.  If we want to get fit, we'll make our way to the gym.  There are more appropriate ways to tell us to get fit.  You don't have to ruin Christmas.

3. Garden tools.  Why would you give us gifts that will give us more chores/  As much as we like being manly men, we really don't want to mow the lawn or rake up leaves.  Trust me on this.

2.  Ties and socks.  No matter how nice you think they are, save them for a more special occasion --like an eclipse of the sun.

1.  A stuffed reindeer, Santa or elf.  Pretty much, we don't want anything stuffed, holding a candy cane or a heart.  Your man is not 10 years old.

Ladies if you stay away from any of these during Christmas, I can guarantee you'll have a happy man on your hands.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...